oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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