the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
