The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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