i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
