Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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