Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
