we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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