I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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