i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
