Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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