if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
