Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
