You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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