I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You pole danced in your parka.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
