We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
