Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
