i think i have herpe
just one?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
