bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
