Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
