the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
