Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize