my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
