wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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