Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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