No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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