I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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