five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
