I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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