He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize