the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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