yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
