We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
