I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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