Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize