Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
