I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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