Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
