so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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