she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
