Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I've blown a few things in my day
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
