Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
