no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
