in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
