Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
