6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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