he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
