I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
