It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
