like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
