So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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