we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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