Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize