Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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