Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
