Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize