We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
