no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
