did you get engaged???
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
