I just made out with a guy for $7.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
