okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
