if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
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