I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
